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What the f*ck?

So glad you asked. Theramists are therapeutic mists specifically formulated with organic essential oils, Flower Essences, and distilled water to help people in their time of f*cking need.

Flower essences are homeopathic flower dilutions that support you on an energetic and cellular level. Essential oil fragrances can boost your energy, lower your stress, and help you get the sleep you need so f*cking much.*

How do I use them?

Shake that shit well and spritz around your room, your office, your car, your pillow*, or anywhere near you! (Not in your f*cking eyes or mouth.)

*Some oils can stain fabrics. You should probably spot test before spraying on delicate items.

What are Flower Essences?

Flower Essences are magical as f*ck. They don’t offer a scent, but they work on an energetic and cellular level to meet your f*cking needs.

What is the shelf life of the mists?

Essential oils have a shelf life of 1-2 years, sometimes longer. But let’s be honest – is it really going to last that long?

Who can use them?

Moms, dads, pets, teachers, even kids f*cking love them!

Can I carry this in my store?

F*ck yes, sister. F*ck yes! Check out our wholesale page or email

Do you ship?

Of course we f*cking do! We will ship your order anywhere in the U.S. And we offer FREE shipping on orders over $50.00. F*ck yeah!

What if my product arrives damaged?

Shit happens. But don’t stress out – we’ll send you a replacement at no charge. Send details to and we’ll take care of it.

Legal Stuff

*These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, do not claim to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, and are not a substitute for medical advice.